You are not alone & there is no such thing as perfection

I just had a thought today. Isn’t it funny how we seemingly walk around with all this baggage, but we don’t immediately look at people and assume they understand the struggle? Logically, it would be left to the explanation that we simply react to what we know, and in this instance, what we know is how they behave. And unless we are experts in behavioral analysis, we are often deceited by our first-hand impression of other people. We could be walking around with addictions or mental health issues and trick ourselves into believing we have to conceal these struggles, because other people may look down upon us. But in reality, there is no flawless human being. Why don’t we believe that? Or at least, why isn’t our perception of the world laced with the idea that people aren’t perfect?

I’m specifically wondering about disorders such as stress, anxiety, and depression. A frightening amount of us are a part of the statistics, but we’re still under the impression that no one understands, even if it is mathematically prevalent that a large number of people, in fact, understand. And when we walk outside, facing the world in its raw nature, and having to socialize, we expect the people around us to be whole, even if we don’t know them. Maybe it is linked to the primal instinct that we need to believe there is support to recieve from people with a stronger mental capacity than our own, so we know we are not doomed, not bound to suffer in misery all by ourselves? That could be one reason. Another reason, mostly seen from high empaths, could be that you want to be the support system or at least not another additional burdon (which you are not but psychologically our brains are wired that way). You want to be a reliable person to the people around you in order to protect them. It is just sad that we can experience the depths of these disorders and feel utterly alone, suffocating in it, when in reality, we were never alone. We were never expected to keep quiet, and even if we were, there would always be someone willing to listen. I am tired of having “a bad day” and feel as if the mere idea of walking outside brings me fear. What if I slipped and fell? In all reality, it would be embarrassing for a few minutes, but whoever saw it wouldn’t care at the end of the day. It would be completely disregarded from their memory because it holds zero value to them. And that is not to downgrade your value as a human being, but simply seen from the perspective of a stranger, that little mistake is way more insignificant in comparison to every other event over the course of a day that is relative to the pedestrian/the stranger who witnessed your “mistake”. In other words, the things that matters to them far outweigh the “mistake” of a stranger if it had no direct tie to themselves. At the end of the day, there is only so much our minds care to store, and there is only so much space to fill.

That leads me to the question what if we live our lives deliberately believing that the people around us struggle with something as well? Would we feel way less tense, and possibly allow ourselves not to appear so perfect all the time. Because if other people truly have a default setting, isn’t it valid to believe that their judgments are short-lived? What I have learned from sharing the truth about my past struggles is that it only makes me more human. More relatable. And to build lasting friendships, you’d have to be your authentic self. Unless you want to be deeply admired and idolized and held to unobtainable standards, which will eventually take a tool on your mental health, you should consider simply to embrace you for who you are. Remind yourself of your worth, and keep on being the best version of yourself. And if we do that, try to imagine what it must feel like not to worry all the time about what can happen, how people perceive you, and making mistakes. Try to imagine what it must feel like to laugh from your mistakes and not take yourself too seriously. I used to be and I still am afraid of a lot of very standardized, small things that everyone knows how to do. And that is certainly tied to past “mistakes” that unfortunately flourished into full-blown trauma and it is tied to essentially hitting rock bottom. But just like any other trauma, you’ll simply have to confront it and tell yourself you’re going to be okay, and people aren’t as harsh on you as you think they are. After all, isn’t it universally recognized that if someone is spending too much time being negative on you, it is because they are suffering a great amount from their own struggles? If we believe that to be true, we also erase the idea that there is such thing as being perfect and superior and that it holds a certain power over the rest of us. When we strip the power away, we are left with different experiences to share with one another, adding to human values, and not extracting from it.