Caring and not caring about how others perceive you

I always say that I don’t care about what people think of me, and when I’m not in a vulnerable state of mind, that remains true. However, it is only today I realized I might not care what others think of me, because I never failed at being my biggest self-critic, and most of my set-backs are caused by my own mentality. I think we all care to some extent as we long for social connection, to fit in, and to be accepted. All within your own means, but all absolute to some extent. To feel unloved and unwanted never produced anything good. It could be a motivating factor, but it will take a tool on your mentality regardless. And social exclusion and isolation will as well.

I’m also wondering that people who tend to care a lot about what other people think of them aren’t necessarily more vulnerable than people who really don’t care about what other people think of them – IF their reasons resembles my own. However, I think the scare factor is different. When you are your own biggest critic, you are aware of the circumstance and you could, in theory, change it. But being socially excluded based on who you are as an individual can lead to inner conflict. And the reason is often not as clear, so you basically don’t know why you’re not accepted as an individual. This stands in contrast to being aware that YOU are the reason behind your mindset/outlook. However, finding the root in your own self-criticism is also a complex journey. It took me years before I found the cause, and a lot of things overlap in that regard.

We tend to perceive people who are outwarldly vulnerable to be more emotional, or dare I say weaker, but that is far from the truth. People can carry a load of emotional baggage and never tell anyone about it, but it could be just as intense as a person who is outwarldly vulnerable. It could even be argued that in some cases, it takes great courage to show vulnerability. And in other cases, it is a product of being a sensitive person, which is also a social stigma, while it shouldn’t be that way. It is just silly how we generalize so much to the point where we forget emotional sensitivity could allow a person to have a hightened awareness of one’s own emotions and other people’s emotions.